Relationships are under strain as never before in the pandemic, as more couples

break up and the divorce rate soars. Being in each other's company more than

usual, socially isolated from family and friends, having to home school and

worrying about job security and getting into debt, all take their toll on even the

strongest couples. So, if there were strains in relationships before the lockdowns

started, it is not surprising that Covid is causing more breakdowns now.

If you are in this situation and you and your partner have decided that things are

no longer working as you would like, you need to start considering your next

steps.

'It can be a really painful experience for all concerned', commented Ian Byworth,

CEO of Citizens Advice Mendip, 'but you need to be clear about your rights and

obligations, especially if children are involved. Where will your children live and

how often will the other parent be able to see them? Where will you live and how

will you divide up your existing property between you? How will you pay the bills

when you're living on your own?' Here are some of the key next steps:

1. Separation: if you and your partner can agree on a separation, you don't need

to go to court. It's cheaper and quicker to do it yourselves. Write down your

agreed arrangements and then it's a good idea to talk it through with a solicitor.

You can find one on the Law Society website.

1. If you can't agree with your ex-partner: you can try to reach an agreement

using a mediator - someone who can help you sort any differences you have

about money, property or children. The process starts with a 'mediation

information and assessment meeting' (MIAM) where you'll find out what

mediation is and how it can help you. To find a local mediator search for 'Family

Mediation Council' in your browser. You may be able to get help with mediation

fees if you are on a low income.

1. Children: if possible, it's best to keep arrangements about children informal by

finding a workable solution between you or with the help of a mediator. You both

have a responsibility for the cost of looking after your children when you

separate and the parent who moves out may have to pay maintenance to the

partner looking after the children

4. Deciding what to do about your home: normally you need to decide: who

stays and who moves out; whether you both move out and end the tenancy or

decide to sell the family home; whether one of you buys the other out or you

carry on living separate lives under the same roof. It all depends on what you

can afford and whether you have children.

1. Managing the money: you need to agree how to split up any money you have

jointly in bank or building society accounts, savings accounts or investments.

Similarly with any shared debts, such as a loan or credit card.

1. Who to notify: if you pay Council Tax, you need to tell the local council – you

may pay less living on your own. If you get benefits as part of a couple, you

should tell the office that deals with your claim as soon as you've separated as

there's a 30-day deadline for most benefits. Also if you get tax credits you should

tell HMRC within 30 days.

You can access free, independent and confidential advice from Citizens Advice in

Mendip. Following government advice, their offices are currently closed for

face-to-face sessions, but please visit their website

www.citizensadvicemendip.org.uk for details of how to email them. Alternatively,

you can contact their free Somerset Adviceline on 0808 27 87 842 (open Mon-Fri,

1. 00-4.00).

Citizens Advice Mendip is an independent charity which receives no government

funding. If you would like to donate and help to continue their work locally,

please visit their website to use the Donate button or to email them.